Yesterday a matchmaker in the making asked me the question ‘what are the top 3 qualities a matchmaker must have?’
I thought about it for a moment and wondered how I was going to pick only 3! A good matchmaker will have lots of qualities. They will be kind, giving, passionate and will always be there for their clients. But what are the 3 key qualities and traits that every successful matchmaker has?
1. A Genuine Passion For Making People Happy
Matchmaking can be a lucrative career, but if you’re in it just for the money you won’t go the distance.
To be a successful matchmaker you need to like people. If the thought of spending your days talking to new people fills you with dread then a career in matchmaking isn’t for you. Good matchmakers truly care about their clients. They want them to find someone special and you can be sure they will do everything in their power to make it happen. Matchmakers don’t have magic wands, but they do have bags of determination and a willingness to go the extra mile all spurred on by their desire to make people happy.
2. The Ability to be Sincere, Tactful, Firm and Approachable All in One
Matchmakers get the joyful experience of sharing great news such as ‘he thought you were great and can’t wait to see you again’ or ‘she would love to meet you, your profile really resonated with her so expect to hear from her soon’. Yippee. It always feels great to pass on good news. The not so fun part is relaying disappointing news for example ‘i’m sorry but he’s decided he doesn’t feel you would be a good match for him and has declined meeting’. Ouch.
An average day in the life of a matchmaker is a rollercoaster, you’re flying high on the buzz of a client having a great date then swiftly come crashing down when another client tells you they don’t want to go on a date with someone you think would be a great fit for them. If we think we have it rough though, the clients are going through a lot more.
A good matchmaker will be able to balance their emotions. Will be able to be firm with clients when appropriate (like when they say they won’t meet anyone who doesn’t live within a 5 minute walking radius of their house – yes true story!) but also be a shoulder to cry on if things don’t go to plan.
3. A Strong Worth Ethic With a Healthy Dose of Being Able to ‘Switch Off’
The first 18 months of running Mutual Attraction i’m not sure I took a day off. Not big, not clever, just a bit crazy. I’m pleased to say I have since seen the light and have a healthy work/life balance. Many matchmakers work either on their own or in small teams. They are a jack of all trades and aside from doing the day to day matchmaking they’ll also be setting up advertising campaigns, over seeing the accounts, keeping the tweets coming and you wouldn’t believe the amount of admin matchmakers do. if you want to, you will always find something to do. But you will burn out, just like I did.
Matchmaking isn’t a 9-5 job. Clients will ‘offload’ onto you. In other words they will say things like ‘you are my last chance’ or ‘if you can’t find me anyone I will give up’. That is a huge amount of pressure! A good matchmaker will know when to switch off and when not to take things to heart. This is a skill I have almost cracked 😉
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